Wasteland
“Somedays, you feel so unloved by the people who are supposed to love you. And your heart hurts. And you feel empty. Like you’re in a wasteland with no life. Right now, it seems that this has been a very lifeless season. People who are supposed to bring joy to your life now bring thoughts of dread as you think of the life being sucked out of you. They never ask if you’re okay. And I’m not. I haven’t been for a long time.” “Some days, you feel so unloved by the people who are supposed to love you. And your heart hurts. And you feel empty. Like you’re in a wasteland with no life. Right now, it seems that this has been a very lifeless season. People who are supposed to bring joy to your life now bring thoughts of dread as you think of the life being sucked out of you. They never ask if you’re okay. And I’m not. I haven’t been for a long time.”
These are words I wrote down about a year ago. Words I felt so deeply to my core. I wrote these after spending days crying and wondering when I would be good enough for these people. When I would be good enough for God. A week before I wrote down these words, I decided to open up my Bible again. It had been awhile, and maybe just maybe, God would know what to say. And of course, He did. Looking back at this journal entry, I have to laugh, because two days after that entry is another entry that completely changed me. If only I knew two days before what God was about to do in my life. I opened my Bible to Psalm 51:1-12.
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You are not enough.
That sounds like something I shouldn’t be saying on a counseling blog, right? Working in youth and college ministry, one of the greatest struggles I have seen is people not feeling like they’re good enough. I, myself, feel this at times, and in this age of social media, it can be incredibly easy to scroll through Instagram and compare your life or your body to those on your screen.
The problem with comparison is that it is a joy-stealer. It makes you feel as though you will never amount to the life or the looks or the career of these people. From this, you may begin idolizing and coveting what other people have. It may start as small as wishing you had the wardrobe of this person or had the flexibility to go to the beach whenever you wanted or had the house or lifestyle of someone else. Once these thoughts creep into your mind, it becomes so easy for discontentment to start showing up in various places in your life. Continue Reading